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Seven Myths About Women Over 50 by Renee Fisher, Joyce Kramer and Jean Peelen

We three women over 50 decided some years ago to change the conversation about aging and dispel myths about women over 50. These myths may have had validity when none of us humans lived much past age 50 or 60. Remember our grandmothers? They looked old at 40. They wore housedresses and sturdy shoes. Their lives were all about raising their children and, when that was done, it seemed that at least in society’s eyes, their lives were done.

Things have changed considerably. The average life span is eighty-plus years, and we are engaged in the world far past 50, making art, saving villages, improving our communities and keeping up with fashions.

1: Women over 50 don’t care what they look like.

Since two out of the three of us are planning to have cosmetic surgery, we take exception to this. We now remember with fondness that construction workers used to give us wolf-whistles. We thought it obnoxious then. We miss it now. Women like us drag ourselves to the gym, where we get to compete with 20-somethings for parking spaces and treadmills. We take yoga and Pilates, go on diets, run marathons, go on diets, dye our hair, go on diets, get contact lenses, go on diets. We care. A lot.

2: Women over 50 don’t like sex.

Since one of the three of us is married, this is a touchy subject. The answer is, just let a healthy, willing, attractive male show up in our vicinity and we will be ready. Or, if even two out of three of those categories show up, we will be ready. Actually, “willing” might make up for any other shortfalls, depending on how long it’s been. And just think, since we can’t get pregnant, we can just zip past the pregnancy prevention shelf at the drugstore.

3: Women over 50 find menopause terrible and debilitating.

YES! Menopause is TERRIBLE and DEBILITATING. It ruins our lives. It is the worst thing that has ever been invented in the history of the universe. It is worse than diet ice cream. OK, now that we have acknowledged that, can we please move on? The fact is that two of us didn’t even notice menopause, except that we could also zip right past the sanitary products shelf too. So, menopause exists and we’ll have it for a while, and then we’ll get over it.

4: Women over 50 can’t keep up with the times.

Interesting, since women over 50 are the fastest growing group on Facebook. We three have six computers among us. We have and use PDAs, GPSs, and iPods. We have almost outgrown e-mail, and we may have grown up in the Stone Age, but we have managed to survive into the computer age.

5: Women over 50 miss our children and only want to be with our grandchildren.

We love and adore our children. We love and adore our grandchildren. That’s the only acceptable answer, isn’t it, since this will be in print? We love them the most when they don’t ask us to babysit too much. But seriously, we can love them and still want a life. That’s the bottom line.

6: Women over 50 fear change.

That’s really funny, since virtually everything about us is changing. Body parts are moving to different locations or vacating entirely. Hair is now appearing in places it never was before, and disappearing from places it used to be. We could go on and on. So, we say we don’t fear change. We are, and have been, the movers and shakers of our lives. Go to any art class and see who is involved in creative pursuit. Go to yoga or meditation classes to see the same. Look at the women starting new careers, or the ones running for office. Check out writing classes, art appreciation classes, cooking classes. Look at who is doing work in developing countries, starting foundations, traveling the world, raising money for causes, marching for causes. Change? Bring it on! We are well-practiced, and good at it.

7: Women over 50 are counting the days until retirement.

We agree with this statement. No matter how much we love our careers, we are chomping at the bit to have the time to travel, to explore, to start new businesses, to enroll in college, to volunteer, to write books, to inspire our daughters’ and granddaughters’ generations with the unlimited possibilities we have. We can’t wait to retire so we can see what’s next. We have lived only the first half of our lives and are anxious to see what we will create in the second half.

So, let us bury the useless, outworn myths along with all other outmoded notions of who we women are and what we are up to in our lives. We are here. We’re living, laughing, loving, and planning to be so for the next 50 years.

Renee Fisher, Joyce Kramer and Jean Peelen dispel more myths in their latest book Saving the Best for Last: Creating Our Lives After 50. When not writing books together, Fisher is a real estate agent, Kramer works for non-profit and government agencies on international development issues and Peelen is a model, commercial actress, consultant to Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty and a personal coach. Visit www.invisiblenomore.com for more information about their book.

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