subscribe | advertise | about | contact | home

Girlfriend Getaways: Where, Why, Who and How by Sharon Hazzard

Women might plan a special getaway around a magnificent mountain, boutique shopping or a spa where they can be rubbed with oil on clean sheets someone else washed, but what they treasure most about a trip with friends is the chance to reconnect with themselves and with each other.

“We play so many roles in the other parts of our lives. Going away with women is the essence of communal living,” muses Diane Whitney. On one trip, Diane and friends, “sat around a campfire and sang songs we had grown up singing. The songs brought up this wonderful history of unconditional love that harkened back to our childhoods and teen years and coming of age with each other. It’s fun to repeat that and come of age together again as 50-year-old women.”

Her perfect place for singing around a campfire? “I love the smells of the dust, cottonwoods and pinion pines in the dry heat of the Methow Valley. Even the rain smells different there,” says Diane. Hike Blue Lake and Goat Peak; both offer great views in exchange for only moderate exertion. The Mazama Country Inn has rooms and cabins for rent. It also has an athletic center with a pool, squash and tennis courts, and yoga classes. You can mountain bike, cross-country ski, rock climb and ride horses throughout the valley. After working up an appetite, head into Winthrop and fill up at Three Fingered Jacks Saloon or the Duck Brand Cantina. Masseuses at Stillpoint Massage & Day Spa are eager to rub your tired body. Be sure to stop in at Winthrop Mountain Sports for outdoor clothing and gear, Courtyard Quail for gifts and The French Quail for clothes.

If you want an island experience, try San Juan Island. “There are no traffic signals or billboards and that says it all,” extols Claudia La Cava. Claudia moved to San Juan from Malibu and invited her friends to visit and see why. “I love trips with my girlfriends because they are always more adventurous; it is just as much about the journey as the destination,” she says. On that trip they sailed, shopped the Friday Harbor farmer’s market, lunched at the Lime Kiln Café, walked the Wescott Bay Sculpture Park at Roche Harbor, and visited both the Krystal Acres Alpaca Farm and the Pelindaba Lavender Farms. The grand finale was whale watching from the bluff at the Lime Kiln Lighthouse. “This is a fantasy place, but it is touchable,” says Claudia.

Love the idea of a cabin, but not lucky enough to have one of your own? Bid on one at an auction for your favorite charity. Mary Ellen Hudgins has offered her girlfriends getaways at her cabin in Cle Elum near the Yakima River. There they fish, swim and cross-country ski when they aren’t sitting, noshing, knitting and talking. What makes Cle Elum with girlfriends special? “Nobody is taking care of anybody. Everyone pitches in and you never even have to ask for help,” says Mary Ellen.

If you can tear yourself away from the peace and quiet, go into town and try the Cle Elum Bakery for breakfast or El Caporal for a Mexican meal. Nearby Roslyn, the town where Northern Exposure was filmed, boasts one of the oldest bars in Washington, the Brick Tavern. Probably unnecessary for most girls’ weekends, but there are shelves for your guns at the tables and a spittoon that snakes through the room like an aqueduct. Want to see a movie with your dog? Stop by the Roslyn Theatre. “Well-behaved” dogs are welcome. Suncadia Resort has rooms and cabins for rent, a golf course, groomed cross-country trails and a spa opening this summer.

For those who want to “push themselves without having to prove anything,” Jen Bandy-Phillips recommends hiking to Leroy Basin between the peaks of Seven Finger Jack and Mt. Maude on the western rim of the Entiat Mountains in the Cascade Range. It is the only hike in Washington that will take you 9,000 feet above sea level without a technical climb. “The best time to go is when the berries are out,” explains Jen. Bring your hiking poles, gaiters and helmet for one water crossing and some scrambling. “There is real bonding with girlfriends when hiking, letting go, being silly. We like pushing ourselves to our physical limits because we know there are great rewards, but we also like to be girls and pamper ourselves at the end.”

So, whenever possible, trail’s end is at the Olympus Spa, a Korean day spa with facilities in Lynnwood and Tacoma. For $30 you can spend the whole day enjoying therapeutic whirlpools, multi-temperature pools, and energy and steam rooms. Treatments are extra. The spa is communal and everyone is naked, “but even if you aren’t a naked person, you lose your sense of modesty because you see so many shapes and sizes of bodies,” assures Jen. Avoid cooking and dishes that evening with a goodbye dinner at the Korean restaurant located on-site. Or, if you want to be home in time to tuck in the kids, opt for the Korean Tea Ceremony.

At Chevy Chase Cabins on Discovery Bay there are miles of sandy beach for walking and lots of places to sit and talk. Walk across the street to swim, golf or play tennis. “I have absolutely dedicated time to discover more about my friends. I don’t get interrupted because someone needs a missing sock or a meal before they go to baseball practice,” says Shannon Vincent. “Our trips started as a celebration of life after one of our sorority sisters was diagnosed with cancer. Over the years each of us has faced crisis and loss. The trips have cemented our power as women.”

Visit Port Townsend just down the road for a massage at Posh Hair Salon and Day Spa and/or La Bella Day Spa. Monsoon offers eco-friendly clothing and house- wares and Summer House packs a perfect assortment of gifts into a tiny space. Browse William James for used books. Try breakfast or lunch at Sweet Laurette & Cyndee’s for pastries and bistro fare. The Japanese-trained chef at Hanazono Asian Noodle offers fresh, casual dinners. If you are in the mood for something a little more elegant, dine at the Silverwater Café. No matter where she and her friends are, says Vincent, “we laugh so much our cheeks hurt by the end of the weekend. It is one of the few times when I get to feel beautiful and hilarious.”

Nancy Abramson agrees that, “the best part of going away with women friends is laughing like crazy.” Her group finds fun everywhere they go. “We always have a theme night with games, prizes and costumes.” One trip included a Miss America Pageant, complete with bathing suit, talent and evening gown competitions. Sandy Monroe, Miss Montana, won the crown. Sandy passed away last year and the group’s most recent trip was a haunt in her memory. They dressed in full witch regalia for the entire trip, shared laughs and tears, and reminisced about weekends past with their beloved friend.

When in Portland, Nancy and friends stay at the Heathman and eat at Wildwood and Oba. They shop the Pearl District and Powell’s Books, and wander the green spaces. If planning a trip to Vancouver, B.C., they check online for hotel specials. They like to bike, roller skate and rest in Stanley Park, and eat well at Lumiere, Rain City Grill, Bin 941 and Zen, or visit Chinatown for dim sum.

“Going away with women…gives me a different perspective on the world. When I go away with my family, I withdraw. When I go away with women, I go away to connect. The strictures of society drop away and I don’t feel like I have to be so careful,” explains Anne Kundtz, who recommends Manzanita on the Oregon coast for your next getaway. Rental cabins make a perfect launching point for long beach walks. In town, wander Laneda Avenue for shopping, sipping and munching. Favorite stops along the way are the Bread and Ocean Bakery; Cloud and Leaf, “the best little independent bookstore this side of Eagle Harbor Books;” Syzygy for “frump safe” clothes and It’s Only Fair for gifts.

In the end, it probably doesn’t matter where you go, just as long as you go. “I don’t think women should ever give up slumber parties. They are special when you are little and even more special when you are big,” says Tanya Parieaux. Go away with each other and hike or sit, laugh and cry, have that extra cocktail, dance and sing. Surround yourself with a circle of accepting women and shine a light on each other. Remind yourself what it feels like to be you for you, and find something new to love about your friends. Follow the example of Karen McManus: “One year my New Year’s resolution was to go away once a month for a year by myself or with girlfriends. It was one of the best years of my life.”

Sharron Hazzard is a freelance writer living in Seattle.

©2008 Caliope Publishing Company