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Going Solo
by Joyce Majors

The train was late pulling into Bari, Italy. Instead of arriving in the afternoon and hopping my next train to Altamura, I was arriving at night with nowhere to stay on the first leg of a yearlong solo travel adventure.

Standing in the aisle in my hiking boots, my backpack wobbling on my 57-year-old back, I remembered the Lonely Planet description of Bari as “a grim port town best avoided.” Imagining the headlines, “Seattle Woman Mugged, Beaten and Left for Dead on Dock,” I said softly, “Excuse me, does anyone know a hotel where I can stay in Bari?” Silence. “Excuse me, does anyone know a hotel where I can stay in Bari?" Silence again, and then one voice. “Ah, senorina, I know such a place.” Looking through the crowd of passengers, I saw him. Tall with a gentle face and dressed in a brown, woolen monk’s cloak. Prayers answered.

Traveling solo means walking the line between adventure and caution, between the excitement of meeting new people and the loneliness of eating dinner alone. Traveling solo will light up your senses as nothing else can, sharpen your intuition, and build your confidence as each new challenge hones your skills for navigating foreign places and cultures.

Simone Andrus, owner of Wide World Books & Maps travel store in Seattle, says it this way: “Travel alone, you look out. Travel together, you look in. I love to travel alone, and there are more and more women coming into the store raving about their solo travel experiences.”

I’ve learned from my own experiences and those of others that there are tricks to traveling solo, ones that can heighten the joy of the experience and at the same time keep you safe.

COMMUNICATING

Only 24 percent of Americans own a passport, and many people don’t travel for fear of an inability to communicate in a foreign language. Conversation skills can be developed by attending a language school in the country you visit. Even a week of morning conversation classes will help you communicate, and you may meet other students and teachers happy to help you find your way in their city. Or take conversation classes and listen to language tapes before your trip. And always carry a pocket word and phrase dictionary to help you get around.

LOCAL KNOW-HOW

Local women can be key to easing your anxieties about being in a foreign country. Watch them and learn. Note whether they make direct eye contact with men. In some cultures, direct eye contact may mean, “Ah, she wants to have sex with me.” Dressing to blend in will allow you the freedom to learn more about the culture.

Research the culture with Culture Smart books, guides to customs and etiquette published for 24 countries. When walking alone, keep an eye out for a group of local women or an elderly couple and use them as a safe harbor if you are frightened. Instinctively, women help other women, and friendships can be formed easily between us even without a common language. Asking a woman for directions may lead to sharing a meal together.

In Beijing shopping for souvenirs, I started talking to a young Chinese woman standing next to me. Filled with curiosity about the United States, she wanted to ask me a million questions. We walked to a local restaurant that I would never have found on my own. She ordered some great dishes and we talked for three hours about her life as an English teacher, her difficulties with her boyfriend, and her frustrations at not being allowed to travel outside the country. She also wanted to hear about my life as an American woman.

WHERE TO STAY

Most solo travelers will recommend the sociability of a bed-and-breakfast or hostel rather than the built-in isolation of a large hotel. When planning your accommodations, contact the owners before you leave so they can e-mail you the best way to arrive from the airport, what the taxi fare will cost, and provide information about restaurants and sightseeing activities. Another resource is Virtual Tourist (www.virtualtourist.com) where you can research good spots online, and exchange advice and information with 800,000 registered members in 220 countries.

If you are looking for more personal lodgings, with a local family for instance, join Servas (www.usservas.org) or Women Welcome Women Worldwide (www.womenwelcomewomen.org.uk). Both groups allow you to learn about the culture either by visiting with them or by staying with a local family in their home. You can arrange your weekend stay online before your trip.

MAKING FRIENDS AND MEMORIES

Pauline Frommer is the author of a new budget travel series, Pauline Frommer Travel Guides (frommers.com/Pauline), including Pauline Frommer New York City, voted Best Travel Book of the Year by the North American Travel Journalist Association. She suggests activities in which traveling solo is not an issue; a course at Oxford for instance, or volunteering on a project.

“Don’t be shy about creating a network by asking all of your friends if they have friends in the country you’ll be visiting,” says Frommer. “When you arrive, take them to dinner. Travel alone is freer. You don’t need to negotiate your way of getting to know a city. I love traveling alone.” Frommer suggests saving money by traveling off-season and going with local companies.

Walking tours and biking tours are a great way to see a city when traveling alone. When the tour is over, the group generally heads off to eat dinner together or have drinks. Follow your interests and find a group or a tour attending the symphony, the opera, a museum or a play, even a cooking class.

Take your exercise with you when you travel, or learn a new sport. I rented Rollerblades while in London. You can take lessons in London’s Hyde Park and join the thousands of people skating there (www.londonskaters.com). Play squash or tennis? Join a club in the city you are visiting as a short-term member. The squash club in Rio that I joined turned into a great place to exercise and meet locals.

Volunteering at archeological digs, wildlife sanctuaries, conservation projects or teaching English will always bring you into the culture and allow you many opportunities for friendship. Meals are prepared communally and evenings are spent talking and laughing with many different voices and accents around the table. While working and learning side by side, conversations lead to better understanding between people of different cultures, and rather than just passing through to sightsee in a country, you’ll have an opportunity to actually live in it.

PACK LIGHT

When packing for your solo trip, the advice from Anne McAlpin, author of Pack it Up, (www.annemcalpin.com) is “You must be able to handle your own luggage. The trick to packing is to find three different uses for each item you pack. A shawl becomes a blanket becomes a skirt. I suggest a purse-size flashlight, a silk money belt, and to never carry more than $75 in your purse at one time. Bring a small whistle for a safety alert, a compass and a magnifying glass that all attach to your purse.” For security, Anne suggests “Always leave the light on in your hotel room, the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door, and the TV on when you leave. Pack a small door wedge for added protection in unfamiliar surroundings, and carry two plastic coated S-hooks (found in hardware stores) to use in the bathroom stall to keep your purse off the floor.”

DINING DOS & DON’TS

Some women suggest having a late lunch when traveling alone, skipping the evening meal entirely, and settling for snacks and fruit to avoid being a solo diner. However, other travelers suggest telling the maitre d’ that you would welcome other solo female diners to join you. Ask in your B&B and in stores for restaurant suggestions and bring your postcards or journal to write in while you wait between courses. If you are feeling awkward being alone, bring a magazine to read during dinner. Becoming a regular at a restaurant may limit your food choices, but you’ll love the hospitality. When staying in Athens, I became a regular at one restaurant because the waiters were so attentive. Every night they made sure I had plenty of free watermelon and ouzo.

OTHER PRE-PLANNING NOTES

Arriving at the airport in a foreign city can be completely overwhelming. Research the safest mode of transportation before your arrival and know how much it will cost. If you can, arrive before dark. Some of my most anxiety-filled moments have been in airports when the uncertainty of being able to secure a taxi collided with the chaos of being in a foreign culture, fraying my nerves. In extreme cases, I suggest heading to the women’s room where you can stop to take a deep breath in a locked stall and regain your composure.
Research your trip with help from Journey Woman, an online travel resource for women (www.journeywoman.com) or Transitions Abroad (www.transitionsabroad.com), a 30-year-old resource for work-study programs and overseas travel.

Solo travel is both a thrilling adventure and a daunting undertaking, but as you sharpen your instincts, you’ll find that the freedom to choose your own destination and your own activities without compromise is both liberating and empowering.

Joyce Major left her successful real estate business to take a yearlong solo trip around the world, volunteering on 11 different projects on six continents. She is writing a book about her journey, teaches classes on volunteer travel, and continues to travel as a volunteer.

©2007 Caliope Publishing Company